No Laughing Matter

by Melinda George

Chapter One

Near San Antonio, Texas

Jaide Templeton bent down to check the narrow rope. It was perfectly strung between the poles in the barn, just inches above the ground. When that idiot Stan Walker came in to get some tack, he would end up flat on his face, just where he belonged. And she knew Stan would be the next one in the tack room. Everyone else had already been in. Their horses were saddled and they were ready to work for the day.

Only Stan, who had been drunk at Lucky’s Place last night, wasn’t in yet. He would stumble in here, hung over, and pay for ruining the joke she’d tried to play on Mattie. It had just been a little thing, some salt in her beer. She would have gotten nothing more than a horrible taste in her mouth. And Jaide would have bought her a new one. The joke wouldn’t have hurt anyone.

But no, in an effort to impress her and try to get her into bed, Stan had to tell Mattie what Jaide had done. Jaide hadn’t expected Mattie to get mad, but she had. And now, Stan would pay for that, for surely it was his fault Mattie was mad, not Jaide’s.

She moved to a corner of the room that couldn’t be seen from the doorway, wishing he would hurry up. But then again, she was glad he was late. And, she was happy she could be around to see him fall flat on his face, for that’s exactly what he deserved.

The minutes seemed to crawl by. Jaide glanced at her watch. It was now almost eight o’clock and Stan was really late. She sighed, figuring that maybe he was too hung over to work. Maybe she should take the string down and try for tomorrow morning. But tomorrow morning, there was no telling who would be around with Stan was, and there was too much chance of tripping someone else. She needed to think of a different idea, a different way to get back at him.

That wouldn’t be hard. After all, Jaide was a master at practical jokes. She’d been playing them on unsuspecting ranch hands all summer long. It sure made the time go faster. She had another six weeks before she had to go back to Austin, to start her sophomore year at the University. Surely she could think of some way to get back at Stan before then. What she needed to do, she figured, was find a way to make it so that he tripped and fell into the horse trough. It would be fun to see him wet, and stumbling through the dirt.

She made to move from her hiding place, stopping when a noise from the front of the barn reached her ears. A smile lit up her face. He was here. Finally. She crouched back down, the better for her to see his face when he was trying to figure out exactly what happened to him.

He was moving toward the tack room now, slowly but surely. She hoped his head hurt, and in a few more minutes, other parts of his body hurt, as well. She saw boots turn into the doorway. She didn’t dare lift her eyes to his face for fear of discovery. A few seconds later she watched his boot come into contact with the rope.

A loud expletive left his lips, and then he tumbled forward, slamming against the hard, wooden surface of the floor with a loud oomph. She laughed loudly, a smile lighting her face. Then, she stared at the person lying in front of her and her smile turned to a look of astonishment.

There was pain in his green eyes. His shoulder-length blond hair was now coated with hay from the floor of the barn, and his hat had been knocked off, and was lying near her feet.

“Wesley?”

“Shit.” He lifted himself to his knees, then stared into her face, his eyes full of shock. He looked back behind him, saw the rope, and then turned back to her, the pain in his eyes turning to anger. “Jaide!”

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t supposed to be you. Oh, I’m so sorry.” She stood quickly and ran for the doorway, carefully stepping over the wire before running for the open doorway where cowboys waited around for work to begin for the day.

One of them called to her as she raced by, heading for the house. It wouldn’t take her long to get her purse, climb into her car and head to San Antonio for the day. But from the look of anger on Wesley Ford’s face, that may not be quite far enough away. And she might have to stay gone for more than a day.

*****

“Where do you think you’re going?” Jaide stopped in the doorway of the house, turning toward her father.

“San Antonio. I’m bored.”

“Why don’t you stay here and help your mama in the kitchen? She could use your help. Making lunch for the hands.”

“I’m not a cook, daddy. You know that. I suck at cooking.”

“Watch your mouth, young lady.” Jonathan Templeton narrowed his eyes. “You may be too big for me to spank anymore, but I reckon I can still make you bite a bar of soap.”

She fidgeted around, looking out toward the barn.

“What did you do now?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me. Tell me what you did.”

“I, it was nothing. Daddy, I just need to go. Bye.” She raced out the door and he stared after her, taking comfort from his wife’s arm as it wrapped around his middle.

“Justin just came inside and said she rigged it for Wesley to fall as he went into the tack room.”

“I just don’t know what I’m going to do with her.” He shook his head and took the coffee cup his wife offered.

“She needs a spanking, no matter what you say. When she was younger, that was the only thing that would set her straight. You know that.”

“Tracy, she’s twenty-two. How am I suppose to spank her?”

“Then I’ll do it. You know as well as I do that it has to be done. She can’t keep pulling pranks on people and getting away with it.”

They both turned their attention to the area between the house and the barn. Wesley Ford was mounting his horse, and heading in their direction.

“Maybe we should let him do it,” Jon said. “It might be more effective coming from him.”

Tracy nodded. “He looks pretty mad. As much as I think she needs it, I don’t want her hurting.”

“Well, maybe it’ll make her think twice about setting up trip wires.” He stepped out onto the porch and Tracy stayed inside. “She ain’t here.”

Jon took a sip from his coffee and turned to the cowboy who was tying his horse to the post outside the main house.

“Where is she?”

“She hightailed it out of her as soon as she saw you laying on the floor, or I figure that’s what set her off. I figure she’s on her way to San Antonio by now, either to sit in a bookstore or movie theater and wonder when it will be safe to come back, hoping you didn’t come after her.”

Wesley brushed dirt from his jeans and pushed his hat back on his head. “Jon, something’s gotta be done. I know she’s your daughter and all, but her jokes are getting out of hand.”

“I realize that. I talked to her about it already, but she’s got a mind of her own, as you well know.”

“You talked to her, huh? Fat lotta good that did. What you need to do is whip her little ass. Maybe that will knock some sense into her.”

Jon’s snort was one of resignation, not indignation. “Hell, Wes, she’s twenty-two-years-old. Way too old to be taken over her daddy’s knee.”

“You spoil her.”

“Yes, I do. She’s my only child, and she was a little hellion, if you remember.”

“Was? She still is. Hell, it took you three years to convince her to go to school, and how many times has she changed her major since she started? Three? Four?”

“Four.” Jon took another drink. “She knows the ranch, and everything that goes with it, will be hers someday, so really, she’s not taking school too seriously. And as for the jokes, I think she’s bored right now, since there’s not much for her to do here during the summer.”

“Then give her a job. Make her ride the herd with us, or oversee some of the horses that are breeding. Make her earn her way. Don’t just let her sit around thinking of new ways to torture us with her jokes. Some of the hands are not very happy.”

“They may not be happy, but they know I pay better than anywhere else they can go. She’ll only be here six more weeks.”

“So, we gotta put up with her tripping people, tying buckets of water over doorways, and putting sugar in gas tanks for six more weeks?”

“I’m still not convinced she did that last one. I think that was Pinky, pissed off because Martin was sniffing around his wife. None of her jokes have been destructive.”

“My knee might say otherwise. It hurts like nobody’s business.”

“I ‘magine it does.” Jon clicked his teeth, and then took another sip. “Like I said, she’s too old for me to spank. Sorry.”

Wesley narrowed his eyes at Jon. He looked out at the barn, and then looked back at his boss. “Too old for you to spank, huh? What about me? I could give her a nice, hard spanking that would make her think twice about setting up stuff so that people end up flat on their faces.”

Jon took another sip, and then sat the cup on the railing, stretching his arms above his head. “She’s my daughter, Wesley. I just can’t hand her over to you to tan her hide.”

Wesley sniffed, and Jon swallowed hard. “Then, maybe, you should just turn your head tonight. Cause I’m gonna discipline her, Jon. I’m gonna spank her. Tonight. I think I have that right, after ending up flat on my face this morning.”

Jon nodded, then picked up his cup. “Maybe it would be the right thing to do, but I don’t like it. If it happens, you make sure I don’t find out about it. I hope I make myself clear.” He turned and walked back into the house, knowing that Wes was right, but hating the fact that his daughter needed punishment, much less that he knew it was coming.

*****

Wes mounted his horse and turned it toward the field. The other hands were already out in the pasture, tending to the herd. It wouldn’t take him too long to get out there, and get to work.

His knee ached something fierce, and he wanted nothing more than to get in his truck and go to San Antonio, find Jaide and take her over his knee right then and there, no matter where she was. It only seemed right that her bottom ache as much as his knee, and his pride, did.

He knew Jon didn’t want to see his little girl disciplined, but Wes knew it had to happen. Since she’d been home, more than half the hands had been subjected to her practical jokes, which ranged from funny to something that caused pain, like this morning. And while he knew she didn’t mean to hurt anyone, it was still a fact that enough was enough.

A good practical joke once in a while was fine. But to have them done every day was just too much. When Stan had come in that morning, Wes had found out the reason for the joke, and found out that the hung over hand was really the target. But that didn’t make it any better. She still had to learn it just couldn’t keep going on.

He wasn’t exactly sure how he was going to lure her to the barn that night. Obviously she would avoid any place where she thought he would be. That was a given. And, given Jon’s reaction to the spanking, he would let it happen, but he wouldn’t do anything to facilitate it. That meant that Wes had to figure out a way to get her in the barn, alone, tonight.

He made it out to the pasture, where several of the hands were watching the cattle graze. Several other hands were out in search of part of the herd that should be there, but wasn’t. He nodded at Gabe, and then turned his horse in the direction of Jackson, who sat, starting into space.

“Well?” Jack didn’t look at him as he rode up.

“I’m gonna spank her little ass.”

“The old man know that?”

“Yup.” Wes didn’t tell him that he’d basically told him no. Because, no matter what Jon Templeton said, Jaide was getting spanked. Tonight.

“Hum.” Jack sniffed, then settled back in his saddle. “I won’t be telling anybody else, and I don’t think you should, either. But a good spanking just might be what she needs.”

“You realize, of course, that she’s not going to come within five feet of you tonight, for fear of what you’re planning. She’s got to know that you’re pissed.”

“I’m sure she does. She hightailed it out of her the minute she got to the house. I gotta figure out a way to get her to the barn tonight, late, when everyone’s gone.”

“Hum.” Jack was silent for a minute, and then clicked his teeth. “I might be able to help you there. She’s gonna be on guard, true, but I think the spanking needs to come tonight, don’t you?”

“Definitely. So, what’d you have in mind?”

*****

Jaide pulled her car up next to the house and turned it off, looking around before getting out. There was nobody around, so she felt fairly safe. With any luck, Wes would have given up looking for her sometime that afternoon. Hopefully.

She did feel terrible about what happened, but surely Wes knew it was an accident, that he’d just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was an accident that he’d been tripped. Tomorrow she would find him, where there were a lot of people around, and tell him she was sorry.

There was no way she would do it tonight, or do it when there was a chance he would get her alone. He’d been pretty mad this morning, and there was no telling how he’d react.

She went to the trunk and took out the two bags of books she’d bought that afternoon. She’d gone overboard, she was sure, but when she’d hit the San Antonio city limits she knew that she needed to lie low for a while. No more practical jokes until the sting of this one was over. Then, she could start back up again. Of course it didn’t help that one of the books she’d bought that afternoon was a guide to practical jokes. That one would give her a few ideas on which to chew on.

She entered the house and called out a hello. Her mother answered that they were in the kitchen.

“Well, thank you for letting me know you wouldn’t be home for dinner.’ Her mother’s voice was harsh. “I realize you’re an adult, but since you’re living here for right now, I would like to be kept informed of when you’ll be home.”

“I’m sorry. I just got caught up in shopping.”

“So it would seem,” her father replied. His gaze was anything but friendly. “We need to have a talk, young lady.”

“I’m sorry. It was an accident, really.”

“Was it? So, you accidentally strung rope over the tack room opening? That’s the first accident of its kind I’ve ever heard.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. It was meant for Stan, not Wes.”

“So, if it had been Stan who had fallen flat on his face it would have been okay?”

“Yes.”

“No.” The room grew quiet, and then her father pointed to a chair. “Sit.”

“Dad, I…”

“I said, sit.”

“You gonna ground me?”

“Don’t get fresh,” her mother said. “You’re an adult. Act like one.”

“Then don’t treat me like a child.”

“Are you serious?” Her father sat up in his chair. “You’ve been acting like a child all summer long. You’ve always been a joker, Jaide, but you’ve gone just a little overboard, don’t you think? It has got to stop.”

“Fine. I won’t do any more. I promise.”

“Not one more, Jaide. No matter what. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You stay in the house and help your mother. And, whatever you do, stay away from Wesley Ford. He’s madder than a hornet. And frankly, I can’t say I blame him. Tripping someone is not a practical joke, Jaide. Bones are broken that way. If a person lands wrong, then they could be up the creek. And if he’s got a broken leg, or ankle? How’s he supposed to work?”

“I didn’t mean for Wes to be there, for him to trip.”

“That’s beside the point. You meant for someone to trip. Was it Stan?”

“Yes. And now that I think about it, the reasoning was bad. I mean it when I say I won’t do anymore. I promise.”

“You stay in the house tonight. Understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I mean it. Do NOT go outside.” The tone of her father’s voice made her feel as if she was a child again. She nodded, picked up her bags and went back to her bedroom. She dropped the bags off, stripped and stepped into the shower, letting the water cool her off just a little. Then, she dressed in a calf-length sundress and went back to the bedroom. She sat on the bed for a little while, wondering why she hadn’t gotten a job for the summer and stayed in Austin.

She didn’t have many friends who were staying around this summer. That was one of the reasons. Plus, she liked being home with her family, where she could ride her horse everyday and enjoy the country air, away from the traffic and congestion of the big city. Of course she’d just spent the day in the big city, so that excuse didn’t really hold water.

She upended her bags and sorted through the books she’d bought. Mostly mysteries, with a few romances thrown in for good measure. She selected one of the mysteries, then decided it was too nice of a night to spend inside. She went to the kitchen to get a glass of iced tea. Her parents were nowhere in sight.

She poured the glass, and then took it to the porch at the front of the house. Before she made herself at home in a chair, she looked toward the barn, which looked to be deserted, as it should be by this time of night. The married hands were already at home, and most of the single ones were at Lucky’s, enjoying a beer or two.

Thinking of the single hands made her think of Wes. She’d known him for a long time, since she was fourteen. He’d come to work on her father’s ranch at that time, barely old enough to be out on his own at age nineteen. She knew that he’d had a horrible home life, and had gotten out as soon as he could, flitting from ranch to ranch before he finally found a home at Templeton’s Alley.

She’d always thought he was cute, that was for sure. When she was younger, she’d tried to flirt with him, but he’d always rebuffed her advances, telling her one time that she was much too young for him.

Now that she was twenty-two, and he was twenty-six, she wondered if he still felt the same way. She hadn’t tried to approach him this summer. Of course, after this morning, it didn’t really matter what age she was. There was no way he’d want anything to do with her now.

Unless she could find some way to make things better. Maybe if she went inside right now and baked him some brownies instead of reading a book. He’d like that, wouldn’t he? Or maybe some cookies. She wondered which he would like better. Then she wondered if she had would up face up in the dirt, from what was supposed to be a joke, if she would feel any better about it if someone brought her a plate full of cookies. Probably not.

Maybe she should offer to clean out his horse’s stall for a week. That might appease him, just a little bit. She knew if someone offered to clean Shady’s stall for her, she might look favorably on that person.

But then again, would it counteract the humiliation of ending up on your face, with hay stuck all over your clothes? Once again, she doubted it.

She’d almost decided on the brownie idea, because if she remembered right Wes loved brownies, when movement at the barn caught her attention. She watched Jack round the corner, one of the ranch dogs close on his heels.

He looked toward the house, saw her sitting there and waved. She waved back, and then took another sip of her tea. He came toward the house, a smile on his face.

“What are ya doing?” He asked in greeting. The dog, Boxer, came up and sat next to her, begging for attention. She rubbed his ears and patted his head.

“Not much. I’ve been banished to the house for my prank gone wrong.”

“Hum, well, can’t say that I blame your dad. Wes is pretty pissed.”

“Listen, do you think if I made him some brownies, it would help?”

“It might. But truthfully, you need to do something nicer. Like go and polish his saddle. I think he’d appreciate that more than he would the food.”

She looked down at her dress. “I’m not exactly dressed for polishing tack.”

“Nobody’s down there. Plus, it would be a great surprise for him in the morning. Much nicer than the one you had for him this morning.”

She gave him a sheepish grin. “I suppose you’re right. And, it wouldn’t take that long. If I remember right, Wes always kept his tack in good condition.”

“Still.” She looked toward the house. “I promised dad I wouldn’t leave the house tonight.”

“Is going to the barn leaving the house, really? I mean, come on, it’s just right over there.” He pointed to the barn and she nodded.

“I suppose you’re right. Plus, it’s not like dad’s not already mad at me. Maybe if he finds out I was doing something nice, it will take the sting out of me not following his orders.”

“Maybe. But, if you don’t think it’s a good idea, wait until tomorrow.”

“No.” She put down her book and stood. “I think you’re right. It would be better if I did it tonight. That way when Wes sees it in the morning, he might be more inclined to forgive me.”

“Maybe.” Jack’s voice was soft. “Let’s go, then. I’ll walk down with you.”

They made it to the barn in silence, and at the doorway, Jack stopped and gave her a half-smile.

“I’m gonna go on home. You take care.”

“Thanks, Jack, for the advice.”

He gave her a look she couldn’t quite decipher, and then quickly left, calling Boxer to come with him.

The sun was starting to set, and the barn was in semi-darkness. Jaide hurried across the main room, heading down the hallway to the tack room. She stepped inside, after looking down to make sure there were no trip wires. Then walked toward the area where Wesley kept his equipment.

She had just touched the cool leather when a sound behind her made her whirl. The door shut, and Wesley threw the bolt before turning toward her.

“Time to pay the piper, Jaide. You need a spanking. A hard one.”